I’ve never been a fan of the whole religion thing, partly because I spent my formative years in a secretly religious private school, and then a C of E school. We were fairly heavily indoctrinated, what with bible readings in assembly every morning and occasional visits from a vicar. The weird part was, the headmaster reading the bible and the vicar didn’t preach that much about religion, we just got a lecture on morals and living a good life. They made us all say the Lord’s prayer, but most of the kids just mumbled the words, and I’m pretty sure the teachers knew this but allowed it anyway.
And then came Mrs. Webb. She was, for lack of a better word, nuts.
She explained to children that you could commit all the crimes you liked as long as you repented at the end, and she scared us all into avoiding Halloween with threats of punishment from God/Jesus etc. But the more I learned about Christianity from her, the more I realised that what she was ranting on about wasn’t nuts, it was all in the bible. That’s when I learned what you become if you actually follow what is written in the bible: a bigoted, hate-spewing, children-scaring nutjob.
Still, it could have been worse: